(ASK THE AUNTIE) auntie’s take on the questions of architecture students

October 16, 2008

Dear fellows, I know you kids really, you know, work hard and all that. Today’s life style makes one wonder whether one is sitting , you know, on a buffalo (oye bhais yaar, hatt mooye! He he he  ) or riding a new Bajaj pulsar at full speed From Patiyala to Jalandhar. So you will have a lot to think of these days hai na? I know, I know, that’s why your beloved Sweetie auntie is here.

The best advice I would give you is to eat a lot of Makhann and drink at least two liters of billo’s(oye again my Bhais yaar, parrey!he he he) milk every morning. But I know you and your issues ( oye not your kids pagaley!) very well, so throw it on me, your questions , and I will catch them like saada Yuvraj Singh.

 

Chaalo , likhtey rehna, hain ji,

Tata ji , tata

Auntie

 

[ caution: the advices given are solely upon the individual judgment to follow, Aunty is not forcing you . Though Billo (aunti’s bhais) takes advices very seriously]

 

Dear auntie,

I am a 24 year old guy doing my final year, and my beloved clutch pencil is not talking to me, I cannot even hold it and make it write my name. I tried so many things, got a new apsara 2b lead, fed it lots of oil, but it just won’t listen. Please help.

By- ParadiseLost

 

Dear PL,

Your clutch is insecure little pencil. It loves you a lot. Try kissing it on the top and show it your First year’s AGT , BCD drawings.  Practice making number eight shapes in the air, and doing some amount of kallaripattu( or sword fight) with your pencil. I am sure that will get the blood flowing.

One more advice, keep your laptop away from your lap, generally clutches are very possessive creatures. They are jealous and Steadler laa oye steadler apsara koi kaam ki nahi.

 

 

Dear auntie,

I am a 20 year old girl and have spent three years in this place already. I don’t like talking to “normal people” about “normal things”, my parents accuse me of being unsocial or arrogant. I am also depressed a lot these days, is it normal?

By- WitheredRose

 

 

Dear WRose,

 

First of all let me tell you, you are God’s gift to civilization and are very smart and talented and a philosopher, especially after reading all those books, merra bachaa!!!

Its completely normal even, Billo(my Bhais, you should know by now) went through the same phase when she was 12. I would advise you to try watching some “STAR PLUS” or Watch “Dil To Pagal hai” atleast for one hour a day in the morning, Okay!!

Normal people are also human beings, its fine if they have not read Derrida, but

You will be pleasantly surprised by their knowledge about TATA nano and Stock market they also know about that girl Salman is dating!

Hain ji , apna khayaal rakhana puttarji.

 

 

 

Dear auntie,

I am 40 something watchman it’s my job to lock the doors at 12 am. Sahab log asked me to do it every night. But These kids in the studios do a lot of nakhara and  don’t let me lock the door till one o clock, I feel sorry for them , but its my Job a question about my stomach( Pate kaa sawaal), what do I do?

By-kanu

 

Dear Kanu,

 

 I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and will never talk to you. Kittieee! ( :P)

Arrey these kids are the future of the nation, you want to lock them of their creativity? !!

Tch tch tch kanu come here, yeah closer, yeah lend me your ears, Shut the studios from outside, and let the kids be inside. Arrey Kaon dekhta hai? You can earn more every night, see the immense prospects?

Sahab log are too much involved with them selves! They wont even know, just try this and every one will be happy.

Chalo

I love all of you,

Peace! thik hain na ji, oye camera band karo, band karo camera, haa!

 

[Any questions/comments are more than welcome, who cares!]


GOOGLE this, – number of hits you get when you google these 25 random keywords ( from polar bear to video to space)

October 3, 2008

When we google things we usually ignore the number of results we get, I decided upon 25 keywords and see which one is the most dominant on the web. here are the results. yeah i was sleepy!

where”dot com” takes the maximum hits, things like “polar bear” remain low, “google” seems to be most present company and “one” the famous number.

 

01…..025,680,000,000-.”com

02…..022,050,000,000-“1” i.e.0ne

03…..008,480,000,000-“I” i.e i

04…..005,240,000,000-“United States”

05…..003,920,000,000-“free”

06…..003,250,000,000-“video”

07…..003,060,000,000-“Google”

08…..002,260,000,000-“music

09…..002,030,000,000-“high”

10…..001,890,000,000-“love”

11…..001,120,000,000-“space”

12…..000,893,000,000-“microsoft”

13…..000,693,000,000-“sex”

14…..000,382,000,000-“cup”

15…..000,258,000,000-“wikipedia”

16…..000,240,000,000-“dollar

17…..000,230,000,000-“hero

18…..000,165,000,000-“hole”

19…. 000,087,800,000-“alien

20…..000,044,300,000-“climate change

21…..000,025,100,000-“mosquito

22…..000,017,400,000-“condom

23…..000,020,200,000-“cheetah

24…..000,007,190,000-“polar bear

25…..000,002,750,000-“abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

any other YAWNFULLY intresting thing? please comment


YAWN-The most boring news in town (weekly)1

September 28, 2008

Manmohan singh and Bush

Manmohan singh and Bush

INDIA – US NEUCLEAR DEAL

 

15 years before I was born, my nation conducted a neuclear test. The world showed the obvious reaction what you expect it to show.

Since then the Indian  diplomats have wasted or used their entire carreers to woo US and the world to feul India’s neuclear demands.

Believe it or not this news comes every 2nd day on Indian News channels for more than a decade now.

YAWN- over that our priminiter goes to US abd tells GEORGE BUSH ” PEOPLE OF INDIA LOVE YOU”,PRESIDENT BUSH”  What the hell!

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Police say teen plotted to kill mom for breast implants

What the fcuk , I mean CNN get over this shity news “A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.

source http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/27/implant.hitmen.reut/index.html

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CHINESE RADIO, CHINESE PHONE, CHINESE ZIPS and finally CHINESE MILK

Frankly speaking Chinese products dont have a reputation for being good in the market, It doesnt surprise me if one more product turns out to be bad or full of melamine.

But people we are loosing lives here! Come on chinese guys you are a great nation , then why such sub standard products.

The World Health Organization said the problem has been exacerbated by “a combination of ignorance and deliberate failure to report.”

Chinese health officials have confirmed the deaths of four infants who had kidney stones caused by drinking tainted milk powder. More than 54,000 babies have been sickened, including 12,892 who have been hospitalized, officials said. State media have reported that two other babies with kidney stones died this summer and that their parents said they had used a brand of tainted milk powder. But local officials have not confirmed a link to the scandal.”-washington post

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JENNIFER ANISTON WANTS TO START DATING 

I mean dude whats wrong with you mam. this is hilariously yawnfull, this way of staying in news, i like it Jenni, keep it up. but try to change some details sometimes or it gets boring.

Hollywood actress Jennifer Aniston is desperate to rekindle her romance with ex-beau John Mayer.ennifer reached out to John first. She had a few glasses of wine – then decided to throw caution to the wind and make the first move. John was pleasantly surprised to hear from her,” a source said.

However, Mayer seems to be more concerned about changing her lifestyle rather than getting back with her, as Jennifer has been photographed on several boozy nights with pals.

Jennifer’s pals are worried, as the Hollywood actress is having a tough time dealing with her split from Mayer.“-yahoo news