(ASK THE AUNTIE) auntie’s take on the questions of architecture students

October 16, 2008

Dear fellows, I know you kids really, you know, work hard and all that. Today’s life style makes one wonder whether one is sitting , you know, on a buffalo (oye bhais yaar, hatt mooye! He he he  ) or riding a new Bajaj pulsar at full speed From Patiyala to Jalandhar. So you will have a lot to think of these days hai na? I know, I know, that’s why your beloved Sweetie auntie is here.

The best advice I would give you is to eat a lot of Makhann and drink at least two liters of billo’s(oye again my Bhais yaar, parrey!he he he) milk every morning. But I know you and your issues ( oye not your kids pagaley!) very well, so throw it on me, your questions , and I will catch them like saada Yuvraj Singh.

 

Chaalo , likhtey rehna, hain ji,

Tata ji , tata

Auntie

 

[ caution: the advices given are solely upon the individual judgment to follow, Aunty is not forcing you . Though Billo (aunti’s bhais) takes advices very seriously]

 

Dear auntie,

I am a 24 year old guy doing my final year, and my beloved clutch pencil is not talking to me, I cannot even hold it and make it write my name. I tried so many things, got a new apsara 2b lead, fed it lots of oil, but it just won’t listen. Please help.

By- ParadiseLost

 

Dear PL,

Your clutch is insecure little pencil. It loves you a lot. Try kissing it on the top and show it your First year’s AGT , BCD drawings.  Practice making number eight shapes in the air, and doing some amount of kallaripattu( or sword fight) with your pencil. I am sure that will get the blood flowing.

One more advice, keep your laptop away from your lap, generally clutches are very possessive creatures. They are jealous and Steadler laa oye steadler apsara koi kaam ki nahi.

 

 

Dear auntie,

I am a 20 year old girl and have spent three years in this place already. I don’t like talking to “normal people” about “normal things”, my parents accuse me of being unsocial or arrogant. I am also depressed a lot these days, is it normal?

By- WitheredRose

 

 

Dear WRose,

 

First of all let me tell you, you are God’s gift to civilization and are very smart and talented and a philosopher, especially after reading all those books, merra bachaa!!!

Its completely normal even, Billo(my Bhais, you should know by now) went through the same phase when she was 12. I would advise you to try watching some “STAR PLUS” or Watch “Dil To Pagal hai” atleast for one hour a day in the morning, Okay!!

Normal people are also human beings, its fine if they have not read Derrida, but

You will be pleasantly surprised by their knowledge about TATA nano and Stock market they also know about that girl Salman is dating!

Hain ji , apna khayaal rakhana puttarji.

 

 

 

Dear auntie,

I am 40 something watchman it’s my job to lock the doors at 12 am. Sahab log asked me to do it every night. But These kids in the studios do a lot of nakhara and  don’t let me lock the door till one o clock, I feel sorry for them , but its my Job a question about my stomach( Pate kaa sawaal), what do I do?

By-kanu

 

Dear Kanu,

 

 I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and will never talk to you. Kittieee! ( :P)

Arrey these kids are the future of the nation, you want to lock them of their creativity? !!

Tch tch tch kanu come here, yeah closer, yeah lend me your ears, Shut the studios from outside, and let the kids be inside. Arrey Kaon dekhta hai? You can earn more every night, see the immense prospects?

Sahab log are too much involved with them selves! They wont even know, just try this and every one will be happy.

Chalo

I love all of you,

Peace! thik hain na ji, oye camera band karo, band karo camera, haa!

 

[Any questions/comments are more than welcome, who cares!]

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list freak

October 5, 2008

a blog only dedicated to list, with topics like

top 10 Most likely ways to die

top 10 funny ( spoof ) articles on uncyclopedia

TOP 10 failed PREDICTIONS

top 10 fatal terror strikes in INDIA since 1993

Last 10 Deaths in F1

and more intresting things, check it out and help me gain a direction


Google is the next GOD! Its controlling the way i think (another paranoid boring controversy on the web)

October 5, 2008

Google knows everthing about me, what i search on the web, where I live, my habits, my mails, details, it even has a picture of mine. I know we trust google, but history has shown us that all big companies , no matter how ethical they are cannot be relied upon and strive towards achieving  monopoly over the minds and thoughts of people.

Best example is the pepsi ad campaign in 80s showing the hip and smart crowd drinking pepsi, which led to decline in Coke’s share or free softwares with windows which famously drived out Corel, Lotus and Netscape from the markets in the 90s, maggi in india.

Similarly people are going crazy for google now, you BROWSE, CHECK MAIL,  WRITE BLOGS, STORE PHOTOS, STORE DOCUMENTS, MAKE 3D MODELS, SEE THE WORLD ON google earth, MEET PEOPLE, WATCH VIDEOS, LISTEN TO MUSIC, READ BOOKS, CHAT, USE PHONE and the biggest of all YOU DEFINETLY SEARCH on GOOGLE. its like almost evry thing you do on the internet .

Recently Google has been under microscope for its controversies (which have started to surface recently, like that of Microsoft did after 10 years of craze)

  • Google recently  when defending its reproductions of professional photographs of scantily-clad women through its popular image-search feature claimed that the photographs are not “creative” enough to enjoy copyright law’s full protections because they’re intended primarily for “sexual gratification“. A federal court rejected that claim earlier this year.( click the link for more)
  • The statement  “Reining in Google” has becoming rather popular in cyberspace. It discusses Google’s attempt to re-write copyright laws or at least reach a point of acceptance through persistence. They have already begun scanning books in 3 large libraries despite the looming lawsuits.MICROSOFT feels its being left out and is soon to join the race with google
  • Youtube, orkut, blogger, sketch up and now next small company in the pipeline to be gulped is NAPSTER.
  • Google NEWS now no longer in the BETA mode, has the news guys and reporters in a fix they say                   “‘They’re building a new medium on the backs of our industry, without paying for any of the content,’ Ali Rahnema, managing director of the association, told Reuters in an interview. ‘The news aggregators are taking headlines, photos, sometimes the first three lines of an article — it’s for the courts to decide whether that’s a copyright violation or not.'””-(hitokiri)
  • Rumor has it that GOOGLE provides biased search  (quote)”The New York Times reported that Google will give AOL preferred placement for AOL’s videos in Google’s video search in Google’s new Google Video search site. In addition, Google will include links to AOL videos on the Google Video home page — and won’t label any of those links advertising, or call the preferred listings advertising, even though they clearly are ads.”(unquote)-(click for source)
  • Scariest thought is  about” indexing” the entire human knowledge -wait! what did I say?
  • Gmail(creepy)  gives you so much space that “you never need to delete ” anything, not bad, but Google admits that deleted messages will remain on their system, and may be accessible internally at Google, for an indefinite period of time.
  • On reading the privacy policy their is no mention that “google will not keep a list of keywords scanned from incoming email, and associate these with the incoming email address in their database”
While doing some background for this article i came across a website hosted by none other than Steve balmer(ceo microsoft), Liz Figueroa (senetor) and Mark Rasch , It has more techincally sound opinions than my blog does, you can check it out at http://www.google-watch.org/
Well upto some extents normal users like me won’t get affectd, I am just one of the 200million people a day who surfs internet, the possibility is scary. What if google sells information to governments  when you type the key word “free” ,”mp3″ “Download”, or when you click on the “pirate bay ” with your chrome browser and download something you shouldn’t.
 
FOR more
check out these sites after you see google-watch
FOR fun check out
where do u go for answers

where do u go for answers


GOOGLE this, – number of hits you get when you google these 25 random keywords ( from polar bear to video to space)

October 3, 2008

When we google things we usually ignore the number of results we get, I decided upon 25 keywords and see which one is the most dominant on the web. here are the results. yeah i was sleepy!

where”dot com” takes the maximum hits, things like “polar bear” remain low, “google” seems to be most present company and “one” the famous number.

 

01…..025,680,000,000-.”com

02…..022,050,000,000-“1” i.e.0ne

03…..008,480,000,000-“I” i.e i

04…..005,240,000,000-“United States”

05…..003,920,000,000-“free”

06…..003,250,000,000-“video”

07…..003,060,000,000-“Google”

08…..002,260,000,000-“music

09…..002,030,000,000-“high”

10…..001,890,000,000-“love”

11…..001,120,000,000-“space”

12…..000,893,000,000-“microsoft”

13…..000,693,000,000-“sex”

14…..000,382,000,000-“cup”

15…..000,258,000,000-“wikipedia”

16…..000,240,000,000-“dollar

17…..000,230,000,000-“hero

18…..000,165,000,000-“hole”

19…. 000,087,800,000-“alien

20…..000,044,300,000-“climate change

21…..000,025,100,000-“mosquito

22…..000,017,400,000-“condom

23…..000,020,200,000-“cheetah

24…..000,007,190,000-“polar bear

25…..000,002,750,000-“abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

any other YAWNFULLY intresting thing? please comment


Whether People of other countries should be allowed to vote for the United States presidential elections?

October 3, 2008

This came about when i was arguing with a guy on an Application called MINE KEY on facebook, the argument may not sound very polished but here it is, the crux.

BASED ON A STUPID INTERNET QUARREL

Against: No, no Non-Us citizen should vote for The US president, we don’t vote for their president.

For : . Americans of course, they don’t vote, they choose whether Saddam should be the president or he should be killed , without Iraq’s consent, whether he is good or bad. Americans get the right to select George Bush who kills thousands of innocent people-Americans have the LUXURY not to vote and still rule

Against:You are asserting that Iraqis should be able to vote in America’s elections. Do Americans get to vote in Iraq’s elections?

For:yes INDIRECTLY YOU VOTE FOR IRAQ, then why do you ask your presidential candidates questions on their stand in IRAQ, i know you asking about a normal citizen voting for IRAQ’S president, but what i am saying is you anyways rule iraq why do have to vote for it, the American puppet government is installed. YES YOU HAVE VOTED FOR IRAQ in a way

Against:If we indirectly vote for Iraq’s president then Iraqis certainly indirectly vote for ours.

But we aren’t talking about being indirect, we’re talking about direct voting.
If Iraqis can vote in America’s elections, Americans must be able to vote in Iraq’s.

For:its very simple what i want to say , The US and the president has a very big impact on the world , specially some countries, so the people whose LIFE and DEATH is affected by the US should be allowed to vote or at least express their opinion, it doesn’t matter to the common US citizen who the president of a 3rd world torn apart country would be, so US doesn’t principally need to vote

Against:Arguably Americans’ lives were affected by the hijakers on 9/11; shouldn’t, by your argument, Americans have some input on politics in Saudi Arabia?

You are allowed to express your opinion but tell me why you should be allowed to affect our elections and we don’t have the same right.

 You might claim it doesn’t matter but you’re making an assumption which isn’t based in reality.

For:it wasn’t a democratically elected government which did 9/11, it was a democratically elected American government which does whatever it does outside America, I know your stand i live in a democratic republic and i wont like people who hardly know about my issues voting for me, nor would i vote for any other country.The role and responsibility of an american president is much much bigger

Against:Doesn’t matter. If there isn’t reciprocity it’s not even remotely reasonable.

For:its like you bomb Iraq loot their oil and ,MAN !you get more than just a say you get shit load of bling and buisness, and poor Iraqis cant even have a say , CLASSIC AMERICAN ARROGANT IGNORANCE..wow applaud people.. hail the common american ..hail their judgement. cheers pal

Against:Listen, you’re missing something crucial here; Bush isn’t me. If an individual Iraqi citizen is going to vote in the American elections, then an individual American citizen should vote in the Iraq elections.

I don’t have any “bling and buisness” dipshit. I am unemployed and have $17 to my name.

You’re ignorance is astounding.

For:Ok wait : aren’t our prime ministers and presidents supposed to REPRESENT us, (aren’t they called representatives), so even if i disagree with certain decisions its my responsibility to throw the man away. IF a common American citizen is so upbeat about their rights,why dont elect a government which doesnt interfere with lives and deaths of people who dont have a fck to do with it.

Against:You aren’t asking for a representative vote, you’re asking for an individual vote.

Regardless, it isn’t as simple as “we don’t like him we throw him away”. I don’t like him but unless there are 2/3 of the country that don’t it won’t matter.
If a common Iraqi citizen is so upbeat about the right to vote in our elections why don’t they do more about the violence that is giving George Bush excuses to stay in Iraq?

For:yea you have a point.( though a common Iraqi might not have a house and would have his neighbors bombed) and i know the majority wins right or wrong doesn’t matter .at least it makes the 2/3ds happy, tats y i said its not about individual anymore, its about the masses, i am just talking of a gr8er impact of an election in US. Nevertheless its a great country and credit goes to the individuals )

 

your comments are more than welcome