the blog takes shots at many things we Indians are used to.

The best advice I would give you is to eat a lot of Makhann and drink at least two liters of billo’s(oye again my Bhais yaar, parrey!he he he) milk every morning. But I know you and your issues ( oye not your kids pagaley!) very well, so throw it on me, your questions , and I will catch them like saada Yuvraj Singh.

Chaalo , likhtey rehna, hain ji,

Tata ji , tata

Auntie

[ caution: the advices given are solely upon the individual judgment to follow, Aunty is not forcing you . Though Billo (aunti’s bhais) takes advices very seriously]

Dear auntie,

I am a 24 year old guy doing my final year, and my beloved clutch pencil is not talking to me, I cannot even hold it and make it write my name. I tried so many things, got a new apsara 2b lead, fed it lots of oil, but it just won’t listen. Please help.

By- ParadiseLost

Dear PL,

Your clutch is insecure little pencil. It loves you a lot. Try kissing it on the top and show it your First year’s AGT , BCD drawings.  Practice making number eight shapes in the air, and doing some amount of kallaripattu( or sword fight) with your pencil. I am sure that will get the blood flowing.

One more advice, keep your laptop away from your lap, generally clutches are very possessive creatures. They are jealous and Steadler laa oye steadler apsara koi kaam ki nahi.

Dear auntie,

I am a 20 year old girl and have spent three years in this place already. I don’t like talking to “normal people” about “normal things”, my parents accuse me of being unsocial or arrogant. I am also depressed a lot these days, is it normal?

By- WitheredRose

Dear WRose,

First of all let me tell you, you are God’s gift to civilization and are very smart and talented and a philosopher, especially after reading all those books, merra bachaa!!!

Its completely normal even, Billo(my Bhais, you should know by now) went through the same phase when she was 12. I would advise you to try watching some “STAR PLUS” or Watch “Dil To Pagal hai” atleast for one hour a day in the morning, Okay!!

Normal people are also human beings, its fine if they have not read Derrida, but

You will be pleasantly surprised by their knowledge about TATA nano and Stock market they also know about that girl Salman is dating!

Hain ji , apna khayaal rakhana puttarji.

Dear auntie,

I am 40 something watchman it’s my job to lock the doors at 12 am. Sahab log asked me to do it every night. But These kids in the studios do a lot of nakhara and  don’t let me lock the door till one o clock, I feel sorry for them , but its my Job a question about my stomach( Pate kaa sawaal), what do I do?

By-kanu

Dear Kanu,

 I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and will never talk to you. Kittieee! ( )

Arrey these kids are the future of the nation, you want to lock them of their creativity? !!

Tch tch tch kanu come here, yeah closer, yeah lend me your ears, Shut the studios from outside, and let the kids be inside. Arrey Kaon dekhta hai? You can earn more every night, see the immense prospects?

Sahab log are too much involved with them selves! They wont even know, just try this and every one will be happy.

Chalo

I love all of you,

Peace! thik hain na ji, oye camera band karo, band karo camera, haa!

[Any questions/comments are more than welcome, who cares!]

top 10 Most likely ways to die

top 10 funny ( spoof ) articles on uncyclopedia

TOP 10 failed PREDICTIONS

top 10 fatal terror strikes in INDIA since 1993

Last 10 Deaths in F1

and more intresting things, check it out and help me gain a direction

Best example is the pepsi ad campaign in 80s showing the hip and smart crowd drinking pepsi, which led to decline in Coke’s share or free softwares with windows which famously drived out Corel, Lotus and Netscape from the markets in the 90s, maggi in india.

Similarly people are going crazy for google now, you BROWSE, CHECK MAIL,  WRITE BLOGS, STORE PHOTOS, STORE DOCUMENTS, MAKE 3D MODELS, SEE THE WORLD ON google earth, MEET PEOPLE, WATCH VIDEOS, LISTEN TO MUSIC, READ BOOKS, CHAT, USE PHONE and the biggest of all YOU DEFINETLY SEARCH on GOOGLE. its like almost evry thing you do on the internet .

Recently Google has been under microscope for its controversies (which have started to surface recently, like that of Microsoft did after 10 years of craze)

• Google recently  when defending its reproductions of professional photographs of scantily-clad women through its popular image-search feature claimed that the photographs are not “creative” enough to enjoy copyright law’s full protections because they’re intended primarily for “sexual gratification“. A federal court rejected that claim earlier this year.( click the link for more)
• The statement  “Reining in Google” has becoming rather popular in cyberspace. It discusses Google’s attempt to re-write copyright laws or at least reach a point of acceptance through persistence. They have already begun scanning books in 3 large libraries despite the looming lawsuits.MICROSOFT feels its being left out and is soon to join the race with google
• Youtube, orkut, blogger, sketch up and now next small company in the pipeline to be gulped is NAPSTER.
• Google NEWS now no longer in the BETA mode, has the news guys and reporters in a fix they say                   ”‘They’re building a new medium on the backs of our industry, without paying for any of the content,’ Ali Rahnema, managing director of the association, told Reuters in an interview. ‘The news aggregators are taking headlines, photos, sometimes the first three lines of an article — it’s for the courts to decide whether that’s a copyright violation or not.’”"-(hitokiri)
• Rumor has it that GOOGLE provides biased search  (quote)”The New York Times reported that Google will give AOL preferred placement for AOL’s videos in Google’s video search in Google’s new Google Video search site. In addition, Google will include links to AOL videos on the Google Video home page — and won’t label any of those links advertising, or call the preferred listings advertising, even though they clearly are ads.”(unquote)-(click for source)
• Scariest thought is  about” indexing” the entire human knowledge -wait! what did I say?
• Gmail(creepy)  gives you so much space that “you never need to delete ” anything, not bad, but Google admits that deleted messages will remain on their system, and may be accessible internally at Google, for an indefinite period of time.
• On reading the privacy policy their is no mention that “google will not keep a list of keywords scanned from incoming email, and associate these with the incoming email address in their database”

• http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/06/15/gmail_spook_heaven/
• http://schestowitz.com/Weblog/archives/2005/11/04/google-controversy/
• http://politics.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/01/31/229200
• http://blog.programmableweb.com/2007/01/10/the-google-api-controversies/

FOR fun check out

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googlezon a funny take fiction on merger of google and amazon-googlezon
• http://infolab.stanford.edu/~sergey/ the original site of stanford days which Sergey(one of the founders of google) still hosts.
• http://iuron.com/ is this the future of search?

where do u go for answers

where”dot com” takes the maximum hits, things like “polar bear” remain low, “google” seems to be most present company and “one” the famous number.

01…..025,680,000,000-.”com“

02…..022,050,000,000-”1” i.e.0ne

03…..008,480,000,000-”I” i.e i

04…..005,240,000,000-”United States”

05…..003,920,000,000-”free”

06…..003,250,000,000-”video”

07…..003,060,000,000-”Google”

08…..002,260,000,000-”music“

09…..002,030,000,000-”high”

10…..001,890,000,000-“love”

11…..001,120,000,000-”space”

12…..000,893,000,000-”microsoft”

13…..000,693,000,000-“sex”

14…..000,382,000,000-”cup”

15…..000,258,000,000-”wikipedia”

16…..000,240,000,000-”dollar“

17…..000,230,000,000-”hero“

18…..000,165,000,000-”hole”

19…. 000,087,800,000-”alien“

20…..000,044,300,000-”climate change“

21…..000,025,100,000-”mosquito“

22…..000,017,400,000-”condom“

23…..000,020,200,000-”cheetah“

24…..000,007,190,000-”polar bear“

25…..000,002,750,000-”abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz“

any other YAWNFULLY intresting thing? please comment

BASED ON A STUPID INTERNET QUARREL

Against: No, no Non-Us citizen should vote for The US president, we don’t vote for their president.

For : . Americans of course, they don’t vote, they choose whether Saddam should be the president or he should be killed , without Iraq’s consent, whether he is good or bad. Americans get the right to select George Bush who kills thousands of innocent people-Americans have the LUXURY not to vote and still rule

Against:You are asserting that Iraqis should be able to vote in America’s elections. Do Americans get to vote in Iraq’s elections?

For:yes INDIRECTLY YOU VOTE FOR IRAQ, then why do you ask your presidential candidates questions on their stand in IRAQ, i know you asking about a normal citizen voting for IRAQ’S president, but what i am saying is you anyways rule iraq why do have to vote for it, the American puppet government is installed. YES YOU HAVE VOTED FOR IRAQ in a way

Against:If we indirectly vote for Iraq’s president then Iraqis certainly indirectly vote for ours.

But we aren’t talking about being indirect, we’re talking about direct voting.
If Iraqis can vote in America’s elections, Americans must be able to vote in Iraq’s.

For:its very simple what i want to say , The US and the president has a very big impact on the world , specially some countries, so the people whose LIFE and DEATH is affected by the US should be allowed to vote or at least express their opinion, it doesn’t matter to the common US citizen who the president of a 3rd world torn apart country would be, so US doesn’t principally need to vote

Against:Arguably Americans’ lives were affected by the hijakers on 9/11; shouldn’t, by your argument, Americans have some input on politics in Saudi Arabia?

You are allowed to express your opinion but tell me why you should be allowed to affect our elections and we don’t have the same right.

 You might claim it doesn’t matter but you’re making an assumption which isn’t based in reality.

For:it wasn’t a democratically elected government which did 9/11, it was a democratically elected American government which does whatever it does outside America, I know your stand i live in a democratic republic and i wont like people who hardly know about my issues voting for me, nor would i vote for any other country.The role and responsibility of an american president is much much bigger

Against oesn’t matter. If there isn’t reciprocity it’s not even remotely reasonable.

For:its like you bomb Iraq loot their oil and ,MAN !you get more than just a say you get shit load of bling and buisness, and poor Iraqis cant even have a say , CLASSIC AMERICAN ARROGANT IGNORANCE..wow applaud people.. hail the common american ..hail their judgement. cheers pal

Against:Listen, you’re missing something crucial here; Bush isn’t me. If an individual Iraqi citizen is going to vote in the American elections, then an individual American citizen should vote in the Iraq elections.

I don’t have any “bling and buisness” dipshit. I am unemployed and have $17 to my name.

You’re ignorance is astounding.

For:Ok wait : aren’t our prime ministers and presidents supposed to REPRESENT us, (aren’t they called representatives), so even if i disagree with certain decisions its my responsibility to throw the man away. IF a common American citizen is so upbeat about their rights,why dont elect a government which doesnt interfere with lives and deaths of people who dont have a fck to do with it.

Against:You aren’t asking for a representative vote, you’re asking for an individual vote.

Regardless, it isn’t as simple as “we don’t like him we throw him away”. I don’t like him but unless there are 2/3 of the country that don’t it won’t matter.
If a common Iraqi citizen is so upbeat about the right to vote in our elections why don’t they do more about the violence that is giving George Bush excuses to stay in Iraq?

For:yea you have a point.( though a common Iraqi might not have a house and would have his neighbors bombed) and i know the majority wins right or wrong doesn’t matter .at least it makes the 2/3ds happy, tats y i said its not about individual anymore, its about the masses, i am just talking of a gr8er impact of an election in US. Nevertheless its a great country and credit goes to the individuals

your comments are more than welcome

““Death is as sure for that which is born, as birth is for that which is dead. Therefore grieve not for what is inevitable.““-Bhagwad Gita

Gita says say don’t grieve death, its inevitable anyways. Truth , says Gita, is nothing but the concepts of ISHWARA(supreme controller), JEEV(soul),PRAKRITI(matter, nature), KARMA(action), KAALA(time).

We don’t seem to go beyond this, like reading a guide book with shortcuts for your exams.

After all you don’t need to read Mahabharatha, if you have seen it on televison, and seen some lines here and there.(or is it?)

Seemingly some religiously motivate people  , have massacered around fifty people in orrisa and I am sure will justify their actions “WITHOUT GRIEF” .Whats more it was’t allowed extensive media coverage like the serial blasts in New Delhi and managed to feature at the second or third pages of the newspapers and five seconds on TV  .There have long been rumours about the massacre of Christians in Orrisa, but such stories are somehow not  much hyped in the Indian media. The so called “secular India” might be going to dogs and we living in the disgraced country are been dragged too. ALL I CAN DO IS VOTE, BUT IT DOESN”T SEEM TO HELP .

“Whats your contribution to prevent the crisis?” you would ask, well I would say “NONE” and am glad to say so because i atleast havent added to the tension.It seems like raising your voice against any kind of violence is to alienate a community which could evetually burn your home down.

I had seen an article on the internet claiming “Bajrang Dal Makes a Village muslim free{click to read full article)”

Stating”The past 10 days have seen armed Bajrang Dal activists on the rampage, driving out about 25 Muslim families from their homes, ransacking their houses and setting them on fire.”           Most people in India will give a full fleged yawn on such a news, it doesn’t make a difference till you are directly affected, see!

Indian  proud of their heritage , dont grieve the dead, but die in the name of culture , without being heard , without producing a single squeek and other Indians like me squeel in such blogs, shame on me.

On the other hand Indian Media ( aaj tak , India tv and similar so called news channels full of crap)  devote most of their time showing the ressurection of Ravan, astrological predictions, similarity between Sita and Helen of Troy et cetra. Why not ?for TRPs.  Sadly but truly this proves our mentality and makes us a nation who does’t mind death as long as it is “by” or “for” Gita.

No wonder if someone concludes that Gita was set in a Battle Ground to jusify evreything possible in the name of God , whch the world has imbibed very conviniently.

(p.s Bhagwad Gita is being misused in present times, but is a great book to read, i love it and hold an unshakeable respect for its teachings )

references from the web

http://www.countercurrents.org/comm-nagaraj290903.htm

http://xmb.stuffucanuse.com/xmb/viewthread.php?tid=5573

http://www.christiantoday.com/article/more.christians.killed.in.india.violence/21306.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gita

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bajrang_Dal

Fernando Alonso won the topsy turvy race and who could have ever imagined Ferrari not gaining a single point and giving aone point constructors lead to Mclaren Merc,while hamlinton(84 points) extended his lead by 7 points over Massa(77points).

Earlir though a safety car period caused Alonso to take a lead and Nico Rosberg to get his career best result, while the same period pushed the race leader Massa to the very end of the pack.

here are the final standings of the race

1. Fernando Alonso
2. Nico Rosberg
3. Lewis Hamilton
4. Timo Glock
5. Sebastian Vettel
6. Nick Heidfeld
7. David Coulthard
8. Kazuki Nakajima
9. Jenson Button
10. Heikki Kovalainen
11. Robert Kubica
12. Sebastien Bourdais
13. Felipe Massa
14. Giancarlo Fisichella
15. Kimi Räikkönen

Manmohan singh and Bush

INDIA – US NEUCLEAR DEAL

15 years before I was born, my nation conducted a neuclear test. The world showed the obvious reaction what you expect it to show.

Since then the Indian  diplomats have wasted or used their entire carreers to woo US and the world to feul India’s neuclear demands.

Believe it or not this news comes every 2nd day on Indian News channels for more than a decade now.

YAWN- over that our priminiter goes to US abd tells GEORGE BUSH ” PEOPLE OF INDIA LOVE YOU”,PRESIDENT BUSH”  What the hell!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Police say teen plotted to kill mom for breast implants

What the fcuk , I mean CNN get over this shity news “A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.“

source http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/27/implant.hitmen.reut/index.html

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

CHINESE RADIO, CHINESE PHONE, CHINESE ZIPS and finally CHINESE MILK

Frankly speaking Chinese products dont have a reputation for being good in the market, It doesnt surprise me if one more product turns out to be bad or full of melamine.

But people we are loosing lives here! Come on chinese guys you are a great nation , then why such sub standard products.

“The World Health Organization said the problem has been exacerbated by “a combination of ignorance and deliberate failure to report.”

Chinese health officials have confirmed the deaths of four infants who had kidney stones caused by drinking tainted milk powder. More than 54,000 babies have been sickened, including 12,892 who have been hospitalized, officials said. State media have reported that two other babies with kidney stones died this summer and that their parents said they had used a brand of tainted milk powder. But local officials have not confirmed a link to the scandal.”-washington post

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

JENNIFER ANISTON WANTS TO START DATING 

I mean dude whats wrong with you mam. this is hilariously yawnfull, this way of staying in news, i like it Jenni, keep it up. but try to change some details sometimes or it gets boring.

“Hollywood actress Jennifer Aniston is desperate to rekindle her romance with ex-beau John Mayer.ennifer reached out to John first. She had a few glasses of wine – then decided to throw caution to the wind and make the first move. John was pleasantly surprised to hear from her,” a source said.

However, Mayer seems to be more concerned about changing her lifestyle rather than getting back with her, as Jennifer has been photographed on several boozy nights with pals.

Jennifer’s pals are worried, as the Hollywood actress is having a tough time dealing with her split from Mayer.“-yahoo news

                                  Believe me or not we are more than one billion and murders of a couple of people wont change the scene of indian politics, human life has last value in India, i feel like i am a vegetable.

                                  India is a Democracy you would say, then why does Raj Thakrey with only seven seats in the state assembly  allowed to speak on the behalf of entire state. India is going to dogs and common vegetables like me cant do any thing but watch it happen, and write frustated articles.

Here are last 10 major attacks on INDIA

• September 27, 2008 - 1 killed and atleast 17 injured in bombings at Mehrauli area 2 bomb blasts in Delhi flower market………………1-KILLED
  

• September 13, 2008 - at least 15 were killed and over 110 injured in 5 bomb blasts in Delhi markets……………..21.-KILLED
  

• July 26, 2008 - 56 were killed and over 110 injured in 17 serial bomb blasts in Ahmedabad……………….29-KILLED
  

• July 25, 2008 - at least 2 were killed and 20 injured in 8 low intensity bomb blasts in Bangalore……………….2-KILLED
  

• May 13, 2008 - at least 63 were killed in 9 bomb blastsalong 6 areas in Jaipur……………….63-KILLED
  

• August 25, 2007 - Two blasts in Hyderabad’s Lumbini park and a restaurant. The police reportedly managed to find and defuse another bomb in the same area……………….42-KILLED
  

• May 18, 2007 - at least 13 people were killed, including 4 killed by the Indian police in the rioting that followed, in thebombing at Mecca Masjid, Hyderabad that took place during the Friday prayers……………….13-KILLED
  

• September 8, 2006 - at least 37 people killed and 125 injured in a series of bomb blasts in the vicinity of a mosque in Malegaon, Maharashtra.……………..37-KILLED
  

• July 11, 2006 - At least 200 people killed in a series of 7 train bombing during the evening rush hour near Mumbai.……………..200-KILLED
  

• March 7, 2006 - At least 21 people killed in three synchronized terrorist attacks in Varanasi in Shri Sankatmochan Mandir and Varanasi Cantonment Railway Station……………….21-KILLED